Bad experiences when I was younger more or less turned me off to video games, but Tom Lee tips me off to what will surely prove an exception: Blood On The Sand, coming this November from Activision. It’s basically 50 Cent fighting terrorism in Iraq and Afghanistan. And why wouldn’t he?

Actually, more precisely, the synopsis tells us that G-Unit was playing a show "in a war-torn country" (the overview specifies that it was "sold-out"), but when 50 comes to collect his money, an unscrupulous promoter informs him that Kamal, a drug dealer, "has f**ked him over and stolen the box office receipts." Before 50 "take[s] his wrath out on the promoter" — really, I’m not making this up, click the link — the poor bastard convinces G-Unit there’s another way to go: go to Iraq and Afghanistan and get that money. And, in the process, man a helicopter gunship to destroy a jeep winding its way through the Afghan mountains; use what appears to be an RPG on unsuspecting Iraqis; and engage in some close-quarters combat. Why not, right? This ain’t new, he’s been in this position before — gramma’s crib, insurgents outside of her door.

Judging from the summary, 50’s not fighting for any reason besides the power of the dollar. Activision and G-Unit made a game that takes place in two active theaters of U.S. warfare that appears not to make any gestures toward patriotism. 50 merely kills who he needs to kill, and anyone else who happens to be in the way. Clearly, G-Unit is the new Blackwater.