I’ve never watched more than 30 seconds of CNBC in my life. My exposure to the network consists entirely of Jon Stewart’s evisceration of Jim Cramer and Joey Ramone’s plaintive deathbed ode to Maria Bartiromo. Not even Moe Tkacik can make CNBC remotely interesting or worthwhile.

So I’ve never had any exposure to something so proudly, deliberately ignorant as this gurgling orifice known as Dennis Kneale — What is this thing? What is its origin? What is its purpose? — until it attempted to goad my friend Chris Hayes, Charon-like, into the endless depths of its braying despair. Watch it blame Chris for its own failure to Google and watch it raise its idiot’s pelt when confronted with the basic facts of the subject it attempts to discuss. The whole thing will take less than three minutes.

This thing’s brain is what it sounded like in the Guantanamo cell where Mohamed al-Qatani was bombared with 60 decibels of the Meow Mix jingle for hours.