The Washington Post‘s Ezra Klein is a man of many talents. Expert journalist. Talented raconteur. Nimble gourmand. Caring friend. But as you’ll see in this video — or, more precisely, as you’ll be unable to avoid seeing in this video — he has a terrible affliction. Ezra Klein can only type with his index fingers.

Yes, this man writes for a living, and writes copiously. And he has never known the efficient pleasures of proper ten-digit typing. Never used multi-finger shortcuts. Never used a keyboard as if it were a grand piano. Never slammed his thumb on the spacebar with zeal to accentuate the finality of a well-turned phrase. Some have tried to gently inform him — not me, but some — he ought to learn how to properly type. But why? He’s more prolific with two fingers than most of us are with ten. Do we really want to imply that Ezra ought to be more productive? 

There is one remaining problem that this video doesn’t capture. What Ezra lacks in typing efficiency he makes up for in hammer-of-the-Gods aural assault. You have never heard typing this loud. It’s the Black Sabbath of typing. Woe to he who wants to watch television while Ezra types. Now it can be told.