YHWH, moonlighting as a subpar Borscht Belt comedian, has given Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Jewish origins, according to the Daily Telegraph‘s inauguration of a geopolitical psychodrama. We have now determined that identity politics has a dank and silted basement. From here on out, Ahmadinejad can say whatever he likes about the Holocaust or Israel and it’ll just be performative and tasteless, not an international outrage. Israel, in the most mindfucky course of events in its history, might be obliged to grand him citizenship. (Knowing Benjamin Netanyahu, he might bulldoze some Palestinian farmer’s olive garden to build Ahmadinejad an apartment complex or something.)

Ahmadinejad’s detractors are now objectively antisemitic. His comment-thread defenders are caught in quite a thorny Hebraic trap of their own — so diabolical that one wonders if the Jews planned this all along…

We, as a people, have a lot of thinking to do. I haven’t had so many mixed feelings about a fellow Tribesman since I first saw the "Are You Gonna Go My Way" video.

Update: Alas.