And Carpenter is getting hit *hard*.

This is not how LaRussa wants to see Carpenter come out the gate.

Are the Dodgers going to hit through the order? ‘Cause it’s really looking like that right now.

God, how I love to see the world’s fattest 2B…

In all fairness, Carpenter didn’t pitch well in his last regular season outing, either…but, still, Carpenter is the team’s ace. We’ll see if he can shake off the hangover.

This is shaping up to be a regular pitchers’ duel.

OK, Attackerlady is coughing in the other room, so I think I’m done for the night. You guys enjoy the game; have a good thread; A — thanks for writing this.

Now that we have a break – let me finish my thoughts from pre-game:

Hate to say it, but the Cards are the forgotten team. Nothing expresses this more than Stan Musial. Admit it – when you think of, say, the top 25 players to ever play the game, you don’t think of Stan the Man unless someone else brings him up. And Musial was the stereotypical Major Leaguer that MLB likes to feature – never cussed, always played hard, even fought in WW2.

So it was entirely predictable that, when the All-Star Game came to St. Louis, and the game had a chance to honor Musial (much like Ted Williams was honored a decade prior)…they dropped the ball. Sure, they brought him in, wheeled him around the park…and that was it. No more pomp, no more circumstance.

Sure, President Obama was throwing out the first pitch (a decision which I still don’t fully understand, but, whatever) – but still: we couldn’t take 10 minutes to honor Musial? Really? 10 minutes that were, instead, spent on a feathery documentary on “service”? Really?

Shabby. And emblematic of how the STL is a forgotten city.

You’re welcome. Thanks for the group blogging!

ManRam catches the deep fly; Cards strand two. Pitchers’ duel indeed, of an ugly sort.

Damn – whatever command Carpenter had, it’s obviously not present. Carpenter’s getting whipped.

the “homer hankie” – one of the worst “traditions” to spread across the game. There are only two teams that should be waving towels – the Twins in the Metrodome and the Steelers at Three Rivers. Everyone else is just a pale copycat. I’ll plead guilty to owning two from the ‘07 Rockies postseason (I gave the rest away, mostly to assorted nephews and other kids).

Let me elaborate on Carpenter – even though the score is 2-1 LAD, he’s getting hit HARD. There have been no bloop hits so far. I’m amazed that the score is 2-1; the way Carpy’s pitching, it feels like it should be 5-1 or 6-1. That’s what good defense does, though; we’ll see if it holds up.

Ok, inning over; 6 left on base (LOB). After 3, it’s 2-1 Dodgers. It’s early yet, but if STL loses, I bet the number of runners LOB will be a big part of the reason why. In a game like this, you have to take advantage of every opportunity to score, and plate discipline plays a huge role in that. Right now, I’m not seeing that from Cardinal hitters.

Yikes. Tony L – look to your bullpen, lest ye get blown out, son.

Casey Blake can break this open and send Carpenter packing.

wow, that was a horrific error by DeRosa! seriously wayward throw by a guy who’s normally very accurate. I think this game’s gonna get busted open, and soon. Just has that feel.

This is ridiculous; it’s the 3rd, and Carpenter has thrown 62 pitches already?

the 3rd mercifully comes to an end. Also, I don’t care how many times I see Joe Torre in Dodger Blue; that shit’s never going to look right.

Man, this game is lackadaisical. And just when I write that, Schumacher rips a double down left to score Rasmus, and people are like, “Oh…hey…whatevs, it’s cool, brah.”

OK, Holliday up. Does he deliver? Gotta say, it’d be sweet to see a blast.

And the banalities flow like balm in Gilead…wouldn’t be surprised to see Tim McCarver doing color. Wolf gets yanked with the bases packed. For a post-season game, this one feels oddly low-key, totally bereft of any drama.

Man, that ball was *just* foul. ManRam gets lucky.

That’s cute – Chavez Ravine plays Jeopardy sound effects for a double. ManRam with the broken bat double.

Again, I say: Tony, call your ‘pen. Get them warmed up, ’cause Carpenter’s got nothing tonight.

Now, Blake with a chance to blow the game out. Blake’s good vs STL, .345 for the year.

Ok, game’s technically official, assuming there’s an unforeseen shower.

OK – so, does Carpenter pitch in the home half of the 5th? He batted and got the last out, so I’m guessing yes, but you’re mightily tempting fate here – he’s been bad. It’s a 3-2 game that feels as if it should be 7-2 or 8-2.

And like that, Ronnie Belliard is on with a single.

Ok, trivia time (this is how you kill time in sportscasting): did you know that Tony LaRussa’s a J.D.?

Sure enough – he got the degree from FSU, but never took the bar. He’s one of a few to be a lawyer-manager, along with Miller Huggins (who managed the Yankees back in the day) and Branch Rickey (who managed the Dodgers)…and there’s your connection to tonight’s game!

Meanwhile, Juan Pierre sacrifice bunts, and two runners move into scoring position. Also, no signs of activity in the Cards pen. What, you thought a J.D. would prevent LaRussa from pulling a Leyland Little? Riiiiight.

Wow – this is a heck of an AB by Furcal. 10 pitches & counting. At this point, I want either a K or a HR.

Instead, a sacrifice fly scores a run. C’mon Tony – I’m not a fan, and even *I* want Carpenter pulled. He’s battled heroically, but his stuff isn’t sharp, and it’s apparent.

End of 5: LAD 4, STL 2.

The story so far is how many men have been left on base for both teams: 10 for the Cardinals, 10 for the Dodgers. Neither team looks sharp at all – if I were Spencer’s Yankees, I wouldn’t be concerned about facing either squad. This has truly been a lackluster effort.

finally, a 1-2-3 inning. Belisario does the job.

Ethier rips a double – and FINALLY LaRussa makes a pitching change, as he approaches the bench…er, the mound and brings in Kyle McLellan to relieve.

Meanwhile, we get to see yet another T-Mo Google My Touch ad, this one featuring Chevy Chase, Molly Shannon and Dana Carvey.

What do you want to bet that ManRam crushes one here? Either that, or he strikes out.

Or fly out, that too.

One of the cool things about living in the Mountain time zone is that you get to watch all teams. For example, today’s Rockies-Phillies game (and tomorrow’s for that matter) was televised at noon. Perfect lunch break game. The Yankees’ game? 4 PM. And the late game came on at 8.

Beat that with a stick.

Now’s a big opportunity? As opposed to every other inning they’ve left runners LOB? Forgive me if I’m skeptical.

WOW. THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN. How the f#@! do you get a HBP with the bases JUICED? That’s getting an RBI the hard way.

Thome AB. Bases loaded. Thome has 2 post season slams. It feels like yesterday that he was mashing for the Indians, and yet yesterday is so far away.

And like that, Thome strikes out. We head to the 7th – Dodgers 5, Cards 2, and what feels like a postseason roster full of runners LOB.

Holliday strikes out, and the fight seems to have left the Cards, who have 8 outs left in this game.

Make that 7 outs to go, as Ludwig grounds out.

Yadier Molina singles to left. DeRosa’s up now. We’ll see if the Cards can get something going here. The game’s still kinda close, after all – one swing could tie it.

Decent AB by DeRosa. A hit or walk here brings up Rasmus, who’s hit a double tonight. And as I write this, DeRosa does single – to right.

Oooh. Troy Glaus (the former slugger for the Angels) is pinch-hitting. He was World Series MVP in ‘02.

Yeah. Glaus is thinking nothing but homer here.

With all that thinking, Troy Glaus goes down swinging. It’s stretch time in the City of Angels – Dodgers 5, Redbirds 2.

Bottom of the 7th here. Furcal strokes a single here. More trivia time:

What name did the Dodgers go by from 1914 to 1931?

Meanwhile, Matt Kemp at the plate – will he strike again?

I’ll tell you what’s stricken again – that goofy base-runner lead graphic that TBS uses. Good Lord is that thing goofy. If a runner steps on the green part, does that mean he has to steal the base?

Kemp strikes out on a wicked changeup by Blake Hawksworth. Hawksworth’s probably the first good pitcher the Cards have sent to the mound tonight.

Let me elaborate – all the pitchers are good, by definition, else they wouldn’t be playing tonight. What I mean is that his pitches are doing what he wants them to do.

Ethier gets on base, which brings up ManRam. Remember, dude has 28 postseason home runs.

Not this time – this time, we get an inning ending double play. 7 down, two left to play, and the score remains the same – LA 5, and you can meet me in St. Louis with 2 runs.

Before I forget – the answer to the question is:

the Brooklyn Robins

Ok, top of the 8th, and the Cards have 6 outs left. Can they make something happen? Who knows?

George Sherrill in to pitch the 8th. He gets Julio Lugo to pop out, but hits Schumacher just barely and – surprise! – we have a runner aboard.

Brendan Ryan pops out. This brings up Albert Pujols, and the Cards are at risk of leaving a runner stranded yet again. Sherrill will sit, closer Jonathan Broxton will come in for the save.

A fruitless night for Pujols, as he grounds to third. The Cards – of course – strand a runner. Three outs left for them, and we head to the home half of the 8th.

I knew this game would be worth watching. Both teams, it turns out, have combined to leave 27 runners on base.

Let that sink in: 27 runners LOB. That’s insane. That’s, like, a perfect game of offensive impotence.

Oh, and it’s a major league postseason record. You knew you were going to see history tonight.

What else is new? The Dodgers leave runners stranded on 2nd and 3rd. Make that 29 runners LOB, as we wrap the 8th up.

St. Louis has 3 outs left.

Holliday pops up and out. One down.

Ludwig gets on base. One down. C’mon St. Louis, bring Ludwig home! Don’t leave him behind!

Molina strikes out, and the Cardinals are down to their last out. Will Mark DeRosa allow the Cards to survive?

OH THE DRAMA – KEMP MISPLAYS IT, AND DEROSA HAS AN RBI!!! CARDS SCORE! CARDS SCORE!

Rick Ankiel at the plate. He can tie it.

DODGERS WIN!!! ZOMFG!?!!ONE!!

What was he looking at?

Seriously, the game mercifully comes to an end. Not only did we see a record set for most men left on base – THIRTY – I mean, how do you explain that? – we also set a record for longest division game ever, at 3 hours and 53 minutes. No wonder this game felt like it would never end – and unlike Tuesday’s classic play-in, there was no drama, only runner after runner left stranded.

This was some lackluster play, folks. It truly felt like both teams were going through the motions, as if they were both still playing, say, the Diamondbacks and the Nationals after they clinched playoff berths. My guess? Unless either or both step up their level of play, neither of these teams will play in the World Series.

There’s a part of me that would love to see the Dodgers play the Yankees (blame it on my Bushwick Avenue roots, I suppose) – but not if the Dodgers play like this. If they play like this, the AL champs will deliver a beatdown.

There were highlights – Matt Kemp hit his first postseason homer, and there were some epic 10-pitch at-bats – but, folks, this isn’t the stuff of October baseball, not when St. Louis goes 3-13 with runners in scoring position and LA goes 2-15 in the same situation.

Think about that – the teams combined for a mind-numbing 5 for 28 with runners on scoring position. That’s atrocious. At this rate, this division series is going to stand right there with the first four games of the 1997 World Series for jaw-droppingly bad baseball best forgotten.

And maybe that’s as it should be. Not every postseason series has to be scintillating, after all.

That’s going to do it for me tonight, sports fans. I’ll be back tomorrow early, with my take on Rockies-Phillies. Have a good night, wherever you are, and may flights of angels sing all of thee to thy rest.

I suppose I cannot really want to have Spencer’s baby since I am spoken for. Let us hope that Wainwright is more disciplined today.

I was going to beg for trash talk on the other side, and not get it.