Prediction: if we could convert the sheer tonnage of bullshit spewed by TBS into energy, we’d never need to import oil again.

No more of that passed-ball shit please, Jorgie.

Punching out Mauer. CC!

That was a HUGE K.

Johnny with a weak popup to Punto

Good call by Joe on sending Jeet, avoiding the DP

And the A-Rod circus rolls into town.

aaaaaand leaves.

4 of 5 kkkk

Six batters and 4 Ks for CC.

CC is objectively the most pinstriped player in history.

Derek “Old Gray Mare” Jeter with some excellent hustle on that play.

McCarver:

The Twins take pride in being known as “a group of baseball players.”

You keep on keepin’ on, Tim.

Just want to point out I’m wearing my Robi rookie t-shirt, #22.

Why in the world could Robi not believe he’s punched out there?

I’m not sure whether to be ashamed or proud that I forgot which broadcaster works for which shitty network. Henceforward, I’ll be heaping abuse on Ron “Base on Balls” Darling.

Not sure I’m feeling good about CC giving up a hit each inning, particularly leadoff hits.

Darling then explains to the viewing audience what “a bunch of baseball players” means.

The DP, though, will assuage at least some of my fears.

And a bloop brings up the AL MVP to be. To quote the broadcast, “he’ll take you to the other field … with power.”

Fuck! Cuddyer with the RBI. First blood.

JESUS. I’m not going to freak out, but I just scared my dog with that profanity. Jorgie, what the FUCK

Christ.

Mauer, another brilliant play.

Melk with a good infield hit.

YES! Bandbox to the rescue.

Oh Captain, My Captain.

ANSWERED. Mr. OCTOBER

winner

Ask your doctor about VALTREX!

Good on Johnny for breaking up that DP. Eh, Johnny wasn’t really the issue. Let’s go A Rod.

Oh, he’s gone.

Yeah, I’d give credit to the Tigers for that one. Poor exhausted Twinkies.

KKKKKK

Jorgie, determined not to let a third ball get past him.

Wait, they’re seriously talking about Jeter breaking Pete Rose’s record?

You can’t judge fielders just by errors. It’s the outs they don’t make, the balls they don’t get to.

I mean, never say never…but the biggest reason Rose broke the record was because he was a part-time player the last two or three years.

Can anyone actually define “playing the game the way it was meant to be played” at any satisfying level of specificity?

Does “not being Manny Ramirez” count as specificity?

No more than “being Derek Jeter” does.

Watching Nick Swisher play makes feel old. He’s from my ‘hood in Columbus, OH.

SWISH!

swish! nice rope down the line. you can see the exhaustion by the Twinkies reflexes, or lack thereof.

On a better relay, Cano is out. Heart in throat.

Wow, Swish must be nervous as hell. Hasn’t cracked a smile since reaching.

I did like TBS’ soundless highlight reel at the commercial that showed Swish yelling “fuck yeah!”

@statler, yes, very good point.

with two outs, you send the guy home.

Robi makes it look easy. Oh wait — that was easy.

(The catch, I mean; not the run-scored.)

KKKKKKK

CC’s pitching better than I’ve seen him – my experience with him pitching for the Indians in ‘07 was VERY different.

getting Mauer to end the inning was very good.

Jeet walks.

Leadoff man aboard.

Finally.

Jay-Z! A-Rod! K-Hud!

A-Rod RBI! Get (get) that (that) dirt off ya shoulda!

Why not walk A-Rod there?

Why do I think that’s going to be HUGE. Not just the first-game RBI, but knocking out Duensing.

Say what you will about A-Rod – and I can, don’t get me started – I like that he’s finally broken that streak. Guys like him should perform at a superlative level.

Because you assume you’re not gonna be the first guy in 5 years to give up a hit w/RISP to him in October. Sensible? No. But still.

GONE!

Gojira!

They say he got to go! GO GO GODZILLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I love how Liriano was the one to give that up…

six runs might be enough for tonight and Friday.

Man, that was the kind of homer that breaks a team’s back, coming when it did.

Well, we sort of knew they weren’t going to win this one.

I wouldn’t go that far – a team like Minny that’s been playing with this kind of groove up till now (17-4 going into tonight) tends keep its own rhythm.

That said, if that rhythm gets altered (like it did when the ‘07 Rockies had to wait for the NHL season to end before playing the Red Sox), havoc ensues. You tend to press and force the action, rather than acting patiently.

I really love how sharp the infield is looking. So reassuring.

now they know they’re not gonna.

Yeah, but the Rockies were delayed. These guys are exhausted.

I look forward to the 2011 or 2012 season, when Nick Punto is fielding 2nd for either New York or Boston.

Speaking of Boston and infielders, what a mistake it was for the Sox to let Cabrera go. One of only a few real bonehead moves by Epstein.

Actually, not so much. I was at that ‘07 play-in game, and every postseason home game that the Rockies played that year. That team played a longer game (by one inning), traveled a longer distance *and* (I think) played a day game on Wednesday.

IIRC, that play-in game ended at 11 PM Mountain time (1 AM Eastern). They had a day, if that, to get ready. I’d argue that they were just as exhausted, and they were a worse team.

KKKKKKKK.

What a relief CC is. The Yankees have a tendency to let their first games in short series’ set an emotional tone. Even against an exhausted Twins team, having Sabathia pitch such a solid game — and he’s not even pitching at his best; he’s just that good — is a big soothing factor. Both of these teams are nervous –

Oh and like that CC hits Tolbert. Not a big deal, all things considered, but still.

This isn’t going well.

Wow, 1-6 with RISP? Yeah, that’s not going to get it done.

C’mon, CC – rein it in, rein it in.

Damn – what is up with Posada & passed balls/wild pitches tonight?

YEAH. That Swisher-sweet arm in right just saved a run.

Good night for CC. Good, solid performance.

And that’ll do it for our ace, who did everything we needed him to do tonight.

Considering the Twins probably got about three hours of sleep each (and all of it on the 4 am flight to NYC), they’re not doing too badly. But the wind’s shifting in the Yankees’ favor — literally. There will be many NYY homers tonight.

Phil in an intense situation here, got to admire his composure. Also, some grudging respect for Cabrera’s AB.

This is one monstrous Cabrera AB.

Beautiful.

YEAH! YOU’RE FUCKIN’ OUT!

Twins won’t get a better chance tonight.

Speaking of which, if you ever get a chance to go to a play-in game, DO IT. The ‘07 play-in was one of the most intense sporting experiences I’ve ever had.

Also, “Empire State of Mind” is awesome – an instant classic.

Ron Darling happily demonstrates the problem with fitting simple retrospective narratives to complex, independent events.

Don’t see how you can really blame Cuddyer’s fuckup on Liriano.

Ahhh…Ron Darling – the reason I didn’t end up a diehard Yankees fan like my mom, and instead became very, very confused as a kid.

yeah, but this is Chip Caray we’re talking about here – the man who called not one, but two fly outs base hits.

Wow, Big Unit Jr’s coming in?

Yeah, that family’s degenerating like the Kristols.

A-rod AGAIN!

A-Rod got a hit with RISP? Do tell.

And that’s probably it for the Twins tonight. No more gas in the tank.

I wonder if we can even hold the Yanks under double digits at this point. Sigh.

Kind of telling that a New York team closes out the inning with a little Bon Jovi.

So, who do we think, Coke or Joba for the 9th?

I’m guessing Joba.

Open question: who does TBS think is watching this game who would be unfamiliar with Joba?

Yeah, you let the kid in for a no-pressure situation.

LOL Andre Ethier. Hope he’s something like @ethier_boy on Twitter.

Ah. Phil the Lesser.

Joba Rulez.

Coke pitched until he was exhausted and Joba’s in.

if we’re going to be mentioning athletes’ Twitter accounts, I know that Ron Artest is @thugraider37.

That would be hilarious if it were less true. Also, Nick Swisher’s twitter feed is exactly what you’d expect.

Ye Gods – yep, that’s the Swish I know. Also, for sheer weirdness, nothing beats OchoCinco tweeting his digits to Britney Spears.

Poor Melky AB. Joe should tell him something about taking things for granted.

OK. Let’s wrap this up.

Oh, no, I always get nervous with Mo and non-save situations.

It’s like the balance has returned to the Force, seeing Mo K someone in October.

just remind yourself that Rivera gives up 5 runs per month.

OK, assuming that we’re well in hand here, are we going to cover Cards-Dodgers tonight?

KK!

If you want to write a set-up post, I’ll put it up, but I dont think I’m watching.

Urgh. Mariano in three 2-0 counts.

DONE.

Cue the Sterling warble: THAAAAA YANK-ees win!!

Thanks to everyone for a great thread. Anyone who wants to post for tomorrow’s games: sackerman-at-washingtonindependent-dot-com. The second game of NYY-MIN is spoken for, and not by me…

The twins get 2 tonight and probably won’t get to 6 by the end of friday.

sent.

The Arkhangel is upstairs, everyone, right in time for Carpenter to start getting rocked…