If we point our webbrowserdevices to the J-Post, we find a story headlined “‘Israel may attack Iran after December’.” Y-y-y-yikes! How do they know?

Israel is making preparations to carry out military attacks in Iran after December, a French magazine reported overnight Wednesday.

According to the report in Le Canard Enchainé quoted by Israel Radio, Jerusalem has already ordered high-quality combat rations from a French food manufacturer for soldiers serving in elite units and has also asked reservists of these units staying abroad to return to Israel.

That is journalism of the quality befitting a publication that would hire the racist Daniel Pipes to write a boogedy-boogedy-Muslims column. (Hey look, this one’s about the lobbying-while-Muslim CAIR story.) Six years’ worth of NYC public-school French taught me that the publication the J-Post and Israel Radio are citing credulously is titled “The Chained Duck.” And then a second’s worth of Googling confirms that this particular publication is a satirical newspaper. Here’s what you’ll find in Le Canard Enchaine, according to Le Wikipede:

Famous are the weekly bogus interview “interviews (presque) imaginaires”, its weekly profile (“Prises de Bec”), its “Journal de Carla B.” (a section presenting in a hilarious way an imaginary diary of Carla Bruni, describing her bohemian-bourgeois reactions towards events involving her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy), its famous sections of press clippings (typos and malaproprisms found in the French press) “rue des petites perles” and “à travers la presse déchaînée”, its two most absurd or incomprehensible sentences of the week by politicians the “mur du çon” and the “noix d’honneur”, as well as its infamous “Sur l’Album de la Comtesse” section of hilarious cryptic spoonerisms.

Sounds like a much better paper than the Jerusalem Post.

(And yes, I wanted to take Spanish, which would have been much more practical.)

Update: Well, I guess it does publish investigative journalism too, so who knows. I hope the IDF at least gets some delicious, buttery, duck-fat-filled rations out of it.

Update 2: OK, my apologies to the J-Post. (And, for that matter, to LCE.) Commenters and others point to me that LCE is indeed a thorough newspaper, satire aside. A France-based friend clarifies that it’s “known for breaking major scoops, with sources deep like Sy Hersh’s. Think Mad magazine, with Woodward and Bernstein circa 1974 attached.” I’m the asshole here.