Saturday night was a diplomatic event that changed the internet forever: the Cold Drank Summit, in which an alliance was forged between the Juicebox Mafia and the Grape Drink Mafia that shall endure through the ages. The accord was reached at the apartment of Government Executive‘s Alyssa Rosenberg. Copious amounts of drank was drunk; ethnic quirks were exchanged; unity was celebrated; and I even found out I grew up mere blocks away from Grape Drinker capo Belleisa.

But if there was one thing that we might have been able to improve upon — perhaps this will be taken under advisement for future summits — it’s that we missed the opportunity to play the Hood Internet’s new mixtape, which will restore your faith in mashups. Kanye West and Modest Mouse! Drake and the Rapture! Major Lazer and the Dirty Projectors! Rap and indie rock, black and Jewish, everyone likes everything, the peanut butter is in the chocolate, no one has to choose between what they enjoy, all myths of authenticity come to an end, sanity prevails.

Also: if you happen to have the option at the DMV of getting something called a vertical drivers’ license, decline it with all possible alacrity. Jamelle learned the hard way that not every bar will honor it, even though it is a duly authorized government document.