Via Dave Bry at The Awl — who is disturbingly easy on Juelz Santana — comes this Juelz abomination sampling “Subterranean Homesick Blues.” To be clear: this was inevitable. Someone was going to use Dylan’s proto-rap drug ballad as the basis for a plodding and obvious coke-rap at some point. Ever since Danny Cohen pointed out to me way back at Camp Kinderland that Dylan’s vocal pattern anticipated rap by 25 years, friends and I used to wonder who would be the one to actually break the seal on this shit. In recent years I tended to think it would be Rick Ross. But Juelz is, to be fair, even wacker.

I suppose I should say that in execution this is better than it has a right to be, and I worry that over the next couple of days I’m going to find it embarrassingly catchy, but clarity must prevail: this is a bad song and a worse idea. It’s as if Juelz was watching the Dewey Cox movie, came to the part where Lil Nutzzack sampled “Walk Hard” and said to his friends, “You know, this might sound stupid, but hear me out…”