The New York Times carries a story about the social scourge of Scotland: Buckfast, the 15-percent alcohol wine packed with caffeine favored by Glaswegian wild(wo)men. You and I know it through Ted Leo’s 2007 reminiscence-filled ode. But what does the stuff taste like?

To the neophyte sampler, it evokes a thick, sweet wine — sherry, perhaps — fortified with cola and Vivarin.

“Have you ever tried Benalyn cough syrup?” asked Sharon Macauley, a sales assistant at G & B’s Newsbox general store, which does a brisk business in Buckfast.

Ted is on that sizzurp! Sort of! This is the opposite of kryptonite, apparently: rather than slowing your roll, the caffeine accelerates it. It’s like Kryptonite and an infusion of radiation from the Yellow Sun of Earth. Whatever it is, it sounds absolutely disgusting.

Crossposted to the Internet Food Association.