BAGRAM AIR FIELD, Afghanistan — You eat at enough DFACs and you’re going to see some awesomely bad Armed Forces Network commercials. One series that I actually like features MLB players, vets and managers telling the troops how much they appreciate them and want them to get home safe. (Josh Hamilton, Mike Scoscia, Dave Winfield, Rafael Furcal, Brandon Phillips, Pujols, Phil Hughes, Andy Pettitte, Victor Martinez, etc.) It comes across as a nice, heartfelt message.

Except, unfortunately for Derek Jeter, who looks into the camera and says, “To the troops, wanna thank you for your support…” Fingernails on a chalkboard. I gather the captain meant something on the order of, “I want to thank you for everything you do, because without your efforts, my life of highly compensated professional athleticism wouldn’t be possible,” a sentiment that Nick Swisher expresses with great enthusiasm in a different commercial. Still, he comes across like he was addressing his fan club.