Ben Smith rounds up some recent failures of the Obama administration to convince its friends to do it some favors, like Jalal Talabani’s refusal to step aside as Iraqi president for Iyad Allawi or Benjamin Netanyahu’s refusal to stop settlement activity in East Jerusalem. Ben writes:

These allies’ willingness to snub Obama may reflect the perception — among leaders whose habit is to obsess over, and over-read, American politics — that the American president is on his heels, and among the White House’s challenges in the coming months is to remind foreign leaders that Obama’s still fully in control of a foreign policy that was hardly mentioned during the election and is not, in fact, expected to change as a result of Republican control of the House.

Except that the roots of both recent setbacks extend long before the elections, and stem back to something more fundamental. The Obama team came in operating from a sensible-enough presumption: the U.S. has built up enough goodwill and sacrificed enough resources, financial and human, into allied or proxy countries that those allies will be willing to make concessions when the U.S. requires. In each of these cases, Obama figured he asking for things these allies consider fundamental. He needed Iraqi Kurds to make a little institutional room for Iraqi Sunnis; for Israelis to hold off on settlement construction so a two-state solution wouldn’t be stillborn; for, say, Hamid Karzai not to steal an election.

From my perspective, a robust case can be made for each of these courses of action. But what Obama (and favorably-inclined people like myself) didn’t sufficiently appreciate is that each of these allies thinks the U.S. is always on the verge of selling it out. For a new president to start off with the medicine and not the sugar — by figuring he could pocket the gains of his predecessors — is clear in retrospect to have been the wrong move. From there, reluctance by the client gets met with insistence by the patron, and then all of a sudden a dynamic sets in that casts a pall over the whole relationship. We asked for sex before dinner.